Disney's Live-Action Remake: Ursula Should Not HAVE To be Thicc

Yesterday, when I was scrolling through Facebook, I came across this article:

TBH, I felt really old because I didn't know who Lizzo is and I totally had to Google her.

Okay, Disclaimer before I go any further: I am not opposed to Lizzo playing Ursula; this article just reminded me of another one I read a few weeks ago:

Now, this...this I have thoughts on. Lots of thoughts.

First: y'all know my love for The Little Mermaid runs deep, no matter how many critics -- and celebrities (I'm looking at you, Kiera Knightley) -- point out how problematic it is. (I'm more in-line with the authors of this article from Time.)
Second: y'all know I'm super excited about the live-action remake -- especially because it means Lin-Manuel Miranda is teaming up with Alan Menken and if that isn't a match made in a Disney fan's Heaven, I don't know what is. (Plus, I'm hoping LMM will be nominated for an Oscar for ANYTHING he writes here and The Little Mermaid will be the film that makes him an EGOT winner.)
Third: I firmly believe Ursula is one of the -- if not THE -- best Disney villains and "Poor Unfortunate Souls" is my go-to car-karaoke-jam.

But.

I take issue with The Mary Sue's post caption, and the article doesn't do much to assuage me. Chelsea Steiner's writing in response to the rumors -- emphasis on rumors -- that Lady Gaga might play Ursula in the live-action adaptation. Here's her argument:

"Sea witch, please: Ursula is a fat girl icon. In an animated world populated with slender princesses, Ursula has stood out not only as a legendary Disney villain, but as an unlikely role model for body positivity. Ursula is confident, clever, and able to run a successful business helping poor unfortunate merfolk solve their problems. 

Ursula makes being bad look like a total blast, which is a shocking rarity for plus-size women in popular culture, who are too frequently portrayed as the butt of the joke. Ursula is not a dowdy shrew, nor is she a desperate wannabe seeking approval from King Triton and the rest of Atlantica. She marches to beat of her own drum fish, no matter how unpopular it may be. 

Over the years, Ursula has become an unlikely icon for the LGBTQ+ community as well. It’s well known that the character was based on John Waters’ muse, the outlandish drag queen Divine, and was brought to life by the music of gay lyricist Howard Ashman."

To Steiner's credit, I kinda see her point. I do agree that she's become an "icon for the LGBTQ+ community" -- the character's connection to Divine and Ashman have been solidified over the years, and it's a piece of Disney Trivia that always blows my students' minds.
I also agree that Ursula "makes being bad look like a total blast," because I'm a sucker for a villain who enjoys being bad and doesn't have some broken-heart-backstory that "explains" her villainy.

But that's just the thing: Ursula IS a villain. Seeing her as running "a successful business" when she's actually manipulating merfolk, no matter how naive they may be, by preying on their weaknesses and insecurities because of some vendetta with Triton? That's a loose interpretation at best.

And, yes. Steiner's not wrong when she says that, "in an animated world populated with slender princesses, Ursula has stood out" -- but I don't think it's in a good way. There are so few plus-size characters in Disney at all -- only a handful come to mind. Russell from Up is one, as are Lilo and Nani from Lilo & Stitch and while Elasti-Girl is surprisingly hippy for an animated character -- as she should be! She's had three kids! -- she still has that impossibly tiny Disney waist. But narrow the parameters to princess movies? The only non-hourglass shaped females are older, benevolent females -- the Fairy Godmother from Cinderella; the Three Fairies from Sleeping Beauty; and Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast.

And then there's Ursula. Her age is a little hard to pin-down, and even figuring out that she's a contemporary of Triton's isn't much of a help, since he's white-haired but surprisingly muscular. Plus, the guy's got a 16 year old daughter. But, like most-villains, she's probably middle-aged -- older than the teenage princesses but younger than the benevolent helper fairies.

So, here's my grief: when your most famous plus-size character is a villain -- when your only plus-size character is a villain -- that's not body positivity or empowering. That's problematic. There's a critic who, I think, says it more succinctly than I can. While I find Robert Trites' argument, as a whole, problematic in parts, I think she's accurate on the matter of Ursula's weight:

"The Disney-constructed conflict in The Little Mermaid is between an overweight, ugly woman and a doe-eyed heroine with a figure less realistic than a Barbie doll's. Once Ursula transforms herself into a rival love-interest for the prince, the conflict is between a dark-haired anorexic and a fairer one. The stereotyping of evil as dark and good as fair is traditional, but only recently has Disney associated corpulence with evil. Disney's villainesses before the 1970s look predatory because they are so thin...In the 1970s, Disney begins to reflect the cultural emphasis on weight consciousness.[...] The movie's portrayal of good as fairer and thinner than evil presents a bigoted distortion of the human body."

Because when Trites brings up Vanessa -- the "dark-haired anorexic"; this is the late 1980s, the era of heroin chic -- she makes a point about the dark vs. light aspect of her appearance, but neglects to consider a broader implication. This may be because Trites thinks Eric is "easily deceived by Ursula's disguising herself as the raven-headed ingenue who possesses the little mermaid's voice. Eric loves the imposter as he has loved the image in his mind: for her physical attributes and for nothing more" (148). To Trites, Eric dismisses Ariel once he hears Vanessa's sing--but Trites doesn't acknowledge the role magic plays here. Eric, with the magic smoke seeping into his eyes, is clearly enchanted by Ursula-as-Vanessa, as evidenced by his robotic behavior in front of Grimsby when he announces the marriage.

To me, here's the crux: if Ursula was really a body-positive character, why would she voluntarily choose to look like a "raven-headed ingenue"? After all, Eric is enchanted and she has Ariel's voice: it shouldn't matter what she looks like since she can simply enchant them to focus on her voice. Taking human form is a necessity, obviously, but the shape of that human form is important:

She chooses to slim waaay down -- when given the choice, she chooses not only a slimmer figure, but a thin figure. She is just as thin as Ariel, retaining nothing of her previously curvy, fuller-figured size. If she was truly a body-positive character, comfortable in her own skin and size, then that would translate to her human form, her victory ensured as it is through magic.

So, no. I can't get behind this #KeepUrsulaThicc movement. I'm sure Lizzo would do a great job -- as Rebel Wilson before her as done. Hell, I'd even support Titus Burgess in the role, although I don't think Disney would go that way for a variety of reasons. But you know what? I think Lady Gaga would kill it, too.

Because I don't think Ursula has to be "thicc" to be great -- not when a real-life person would be portraying her. I would much rather see a #MakeArielThicc movement start, as I think the body-positive movement would be impacted so much more significantly by a plus-size princess than a plus-size villain.
  

Wreck-It Ralph 2: The Disney Princesses Unite!

A few days ago, this post popped up on my feed:

A couple of important things to note:

(1) Alan Tudyk is back! Given that his original character, King Candy/Turbo, was the villain and (spoiler!) got his just desserts, and also given that Alan Tudyk has become Disney Animation Studios' good-luck charm -- I was worried that he wouldn't be in this film. Worries no more. 

(2) Taraji P. Henson's character looks awesome.

(3) Perhaps, most importantly, our first look at the Disney Princesses all together is here!

Here's a bigger look at the picture:

📷: Purewow via Disney

Again, there are a couple of things to note here:

(1) This is awesome. And you will never get me to say otherwise. I imagine this to be some sort of super-cool Princess secret society. Or, resort/spa where they can relax and get away from princessy-duties.

(2) Excluding Vanellope, there are 11 princesses present:

• (2a) Interestingly, Anna, Elsa and Moana are all here -- even though they haven't been officially inducted into the princess court.
• (2b) All the First Wave princesses are present -- Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora -- even though their voice actors are no longer with us. (I always assumed they'd have different actors, so it'll be fun/interesting to see who they cast.)
  Also--Aurora is in her pink dress. Don't get me started.
• (2c) 3/5 of the Second Wave princesses are present: Belle, Jasmine, & Pocahontas are there, but Ariel and Mulan aren't. More on this in a second.
• (2d) 2/3 of the Third Wave princesses are present -- Tiana and Rapunzel, but Merida isn't. (I'm not counting Moana yet.)

Given the panorama-type view of the shot, it's possible that the three of them are just off-screen (and maybe we'll see them in the trailer tomorrow). 

Shockingly, (she said sarcastically), the internet is a little upset about Mulan not being included -- thanks, Buzzfeed!

Which, I know they ask about Ariel in the sub-title, but still. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to count the princesses and figure out that not *every* Disney princess is there -- I counted 3.  But there's a lot of ignorance misinformation in this post. 

WHERE’S MY BITCH FA MULAN https://t.co/B2c6JUAtbx

— josh (@bernaldont) May 31, 2018

Like that whole jibber-jabber about how Mulan isn't *technically* a princess. Yes. We talk about this a lot in my class -- i.e., how do we determine a Disney princess? Do you have to be born one? Can you marry into royalty? And what about different cultures? After all, princesses are primarily (not exculsively!) a Western concept, especially in the way Disney portrays them. Is Jasmine a princess, as the daughter of a sultan? Is Pocahontas a princess, as the daughter of a chief? (Maui would clear this up.)  But I digress. -- The point is: when Andy Mooney created the princess franchise in the early 2000s, they had to come up with some criteria. After all, Tinker Bell was included at one point -- but then they went and did the whole Fairies franchise ($$$), so she was out. Any female character who is included in the Royal Court, is an official princess, regardless of birth, marriage, or any other factors. See below:

📷: WDWThemeParks

All 11 princesses are there -- and yes, this is before Frozen and Moana, but there hasn't been another "induction" since.

So then they point to these cast photos that were taken at the 2017 D23 Expo (which I thought I blogged about, but I can't find it. Which makes sense. I was so. very. pregnant. in July of 2017 and also running around after a 1-year-old.)

What these images tell us is that, from left to right in the second picture, Paige O'Hara (Belle), Irene Bedard (Pocahontas), Mandy Moore (Rapunzel), Auli'i Cravalho (Moana), Sarah Silverman (Vanellope), Kristen Bell (Anna), Kelly MacDonald (Merida), Anika Noni Rose (Tiana), Linda Larkin (Jasmine) and Jodi Benson (Ariel) are all there. When I first read this story, I assumed Ming-Na Wen (Mulan) wasn't there because of Agents of Shield commitments.

I'm just going to ignore this comment from the Buzzfeed post -- But interestingly the voice actors of Snow White, Cinderella, Elsa, and Aurora were not present, even though they are in the shot from the movie. -- because, you know, LOGIC. (Snow White came out in 1937, guys. It's a safe bet that Adriana Caselotti isn't still alive -- she passed in 1997 -- and even if she were, she'd be pretty old.)

So, yeah. Merida and Ariel will be there -- although no one seemed particularly worried about here in the Buzzfeed post  😢 -- and it's a safe bet that Mulan will be too.

So, let's just enjoy the awesomeness of all the princesses together and hope that we see them all in the trailer tomorrow.

Disney Princesses As: Career Women!

May, 2018: We're still re-imagining Disney Princesses in inventive ways. #somethingsneverchange

The latest one imagines Disney Princesses as modern-day career women:

via ScaryMommy

The collection is by Matt Burt and he's put a lot of thought into the careers for each character.

Chronologically, here they are:

Snow White -- Leading Psychologist

Cinderella -- Animal Rights Activist

Aurora -- CEO of Spinning Wheel Coffee 

Ariel -- Pop Star & Record Producer 

Belle -- University Chancellor

Jasmine -- UN Ambassador

Pocahontas -- Environmental Activist (I mean, duh)

Mulan -- Title IX Lawyer

Tiana -- Award Winning Chef (I mean, duh)

Rapunzel -- Neurologist

Merida -- Two Time Olympian (Archery & Equestrian)

Elsa & Anna* -- Climate Change Scientists

Moana -- Officer in the Navy

*Not official princesses, but, a common mistake.

Okay, one, it's clear that Burt put a lot of thought and rationale into each of these career choices.
Two--I love that each of them is an empowering career for the character -- you've got chancellors and ambassadors and scientists. (Yay for Women in STEM!)

But.

I wouldn't be me if I didn't have nit-picky thoughts.

1. Most obvious -- Tiana & Pocahontas: really, any other career options for these two wouldn't work.

2. My favorite "new career" -- Aurora: I love that she's the CEO of a coffee company. Tongue-in-cheek, but oddly appropriate.

3. No...just no -- Snow White as a "Leading Psychologist" and Rapunzel as a "Neurologist": Nope. Not buying it. While I appreciate that Burt made Snow a "leading" psychologist who cares for her clients but also presents at conferences, I...would not put my faith in her as a psychologist. If anything, I think she'd made a great preschool/kindergarten/elementary school teacher. Her cheerful disposition plus her ability to make people actually wash their hands? Textbook.

And Rapunzel? Yeah, cool. Neurologist, doctor, med school, blah blah blah. But the thing I love about the end of Tangled is that Flynn tells us that she learned to rule and govern her people and was a great princess/queen. So, yeah. I would have liked to see her be a senator or even a female president. 

    

4. Miscellaneous thoughts, from someone who has clearly spent too much time thinking about this:

• I guess I see Cinderella as an Animal Rights Activist -- but maybe she and Ariel join forces together. I don't love Ariel as a Pop Star -- because she's my favorite, and it seems a shallow career -- but...I suppose Ariel is kind of shallow, so it fits. :/ 
• Again, I love that Belle is the chancellor of a university, but again, it kinda doesn't fit her personality. I don't see her as an authoritative decision-maker -- something I think Once Upon A Time captures nicely with Belle as a librarian -- maybe an English professor at best. 
• Mulan & Moana -- For some reason, I'm just "meh" about these. I think it's because they seem too rebellious for such straight-laced careers. I'm pretty sure Mulan would do something -- with the best of intentions, of course -- that would end up getting her disbarred. And Moana? She relies too much on emotion and instinct to be a good naval officer -- I can't see her taking orders well. 

Like I said, I've clearly spent too much time thinking about this! 

I ❤️ Tee Turtle

Confession: I have a t-shirt obsession. I think it started back in my swimming days when we'd get shirts from the different meets we went to, but all the free-shirts-as-bribes in college definitely didn't help. And now, today, it continues in the form of geeky/nerdy shirts that I wear whenever we go to Disney and to class sometimes.

One of my favorite sites is Tee Turtle, and they've had a little bit of a Disney drought lately. But maybe they renewed their Disney license recently or something because they've had a spate of new Disney shirts lately. These two popped up in my Inbox this morning:



Y'all know how I feel about The Little Mermaid *and* "Poor Unfortunate Souls" so....yeah. Currently coveting both of these shirts.

The Little Mermaid -- Broadway Version

Last night, my husband and I had Date Night (rather a big deal when you have "two under two"). We're season ticket holders at DPAC, and last night was Disney's The Little Mermaid.

Now, y'all should know by now that The Little Mermaid is my favorite Disney Princess movie, so to say I was excited is probably a bit of an understatement:

But I was even more excited by the fact that, after seeing a regional production in Raleigh, I was pretty sure the Disney Powers-That-Be had their writers read academic criticism of The Little Mermaid and fix  most of the issues critics had with it.

And after seeing the National Tour, I'm convinced of it. (There's a paper/conference presentation in here somewhere...) Here are some of the things I noticed:

1. The Broadway version (BV) establishes fairly early on that Eric feels more at home at sea than he does on land -- he specifically says that he'd rather be a sailor than a prince -- and he wants a girl who can swim/would feel at home on the ocean.
   Given that this is paralleled by Ariel's desire to be a part of the human world, I think it works to establish their similarities -- they both feel out of place in their world, and long to be a part of the other's world -- as well as emphasize how well-suited they are for each other. When they end up together, Ariel won't have to completely give up her family, because Eric feels so at home at sea.
2. Triton has more depth as a father. Whereas in the film he comes off as a domineering ruler first and a father second, here he's humanized a lot more. His role as the single-father-of-7-teenageish-girls is heightened, and you get to see that he's struggling with how to raise them -- especially the rebellious Ariel. He wants to do right by them, and protect them, but they're at an age where he just doesn't know what to do.
3. The whole play takes place over a year -- bookended by Eric's birthdays. IDK if that helps much, in the grand scheme of things, but it does make Ariel's decision to join Eric a little less impetuous. 
4. The theme of tolerance-of-differences and prejudice is super-heightened: there's a lot more talk of "hating humans" and "all humans are evil" based on the actions of a few. 
5. We do get an answer as to why Triton hates humans so much -- he believes they killed his wife -- so cross that off the list of criticisms.
6. We also get an answer as to why Ursula was banished and why she hates Triton so much -- and this is probably my favorite improvement from the animated film. While I still don't get why Ursula is an octopus if she's related to Triton and the other merfolk -- maybe it's like a Wicked thing, where Elphaba is born green? -- their familial connection does explain the tension and animosity. And "Daddy's Little Angel" is the best musical addition to the BV -- it's a whole song about how Ursula killed her 6 older sisters in order to inherit the throne, but forgot about her baby brother (Triton) who grew up to take it from her because, you know, she was intent on evil misdeeds.
   Sidebar: in the original version of the BV, Poseidon had just two kids, Ursula and Triton. Upon his death, he gave Ursula the shell and Triton the trident and told them to split the oceans and each rule half. Ursula got greedy, wanted to be sole ruler, so Triton banished her. Apparently, this wasn't well-received -- or well-conceived? -- so they tweaked the backstory. I gotta say: I like the tweaked version better. After all, it heightens the parallels between Ursula and Ariel -- the 7th daughter, different from her sisters, misunderstood by her father...
7. In the end, there is no melodramatic scene where Ursula steals the trident and Eric goes after her and they have the weird, dramatic sea battle while Ariel lies helpless at the bottom of the sea. It's a little clunky and rushed, but Ariel definitely has a more active role and saves herself: she steals Ursula's shell -- the source of her power -- and smashes it, breaking the spell and destroying her power. 

Lots of improvements, at least based on academic criticisms. In fact, the only thing that I wasn't a huge fan of was this whole "Cult of the Good Mother" thing -- the idea that the dead mother is this pure, powerful figure who would make everything better if she were there and whose absence drives a surprising amount of character actions. Triton invokes her -- only by her role: he refers to her as Wife and Mother, not by her name -- when he's turning to Sebastian for help: he says something like, "If only their mother were here, she'd know what to do, what to say to her, how to make everything right." And then again, at the end, when it's revealed -- Spoilers -- that Ursula was the one who actually killed Triton's wife (why or how remains unclear), this is what motivates Ariel into action. Not being tricked by Ursula, not her father giving up his power -- the invocation of the dead mother. 

Which...sure. On the surface not a bad thing...but I feel like I'm more aware of how mothers are portrayed in the media these days and anything that excessively glorifies motherhood as this natural, easy thing....makes me twitch a little. I appreciate movies like Bad Moms and TV shows like American Housewife because they de-romanticize motherhood and get at the idea that motherhood is hard. For some people, motherhood may come easily -- but the level of selflessness and self-sacrifice that parenting -- and especially motherhood -- requires is glossed over quite often. There is no magic moment that, once they put that baby into your arms, you suddenly know how to do everything and you have all the answers. So, sure. Ariel and her sisters probably would have benefitted from having their mom around, but that doesn't mean she would have had all the answers or known exactly what to say to Ariel or how to "handle" her rebellious nature. Maybe Ariel's mom would have been just as frustrated as Triton was. Maybe -- okay, probably -- she would have been constantly fighting over something with her SEVEN daughters: the only semi-perfect mother/daughter relationship I know is the one between the Gilmore Girls. 

But, hey. This is Disney, so maybe Ariel and her mom would have gotten along just fine. 

"Don't Underestimate The Importance of Body Language"

Y'all know how I feel about Target.

So when my husband asked me if I wanted to get out of the house for a bit and take our daughter on a Target run with my mom while he watched the newborn, I jumped at the chance. (And I don't care how #basicwhitegirl it makes me if I love walking around Target with my Starbucks macchiato. Or #suburbanmom. Or both.)

And I'll admit that one of the reasons I love going to Target -- and there are many -- is that there is always so. much. Disney. stuff. Disney is a marketing genius, and this extends to their ability to merchandize everything and anything.

In our house, we're a sucker for Disney Legos -- if only because Legos are my husband's Kryptonite. Combine them with Disney? There's no hope for us.

So as we're walking down the toy aisles, I noticed this set, "Ariel and the Magic Spell":

Nothing special -- I was actually more interested in the Moana sets on the shelf below -- but it struck me that this was kind of a "dark" scene for Disney to make a Lego set out of. (Aside from the fact that it's the scene with one of the greatest Disney songs, ever.) It would be having a Snow White set with the old crone and the apple or a Sleeping Beauty set with Maleficent and the spinning wheel. 

And then I took a closer look at Ursula:

I'm not one to judge but...if Ursula weren't an animated cartoon character, she'd probably have serious grounds for a misrepresentation/overly Photoshopped lawsuit. She is, IMHO, surprisingly slender, given her original appearance. I mean, yeah. Maybe I'm reading too much into the design of a tiny Lego toy, but still. Part of Ursula's design -- and her appearance did evolve; in early concept art she was based on eels/manta rays/lion fish rather than her now-iconic squidlike similarities -- is her corpulence. The late 80s/early 90s was also the time for heroin chic in fashion, so it (unfortunately) makes sense that the heroine would be impossibly thin and the villainess would be the opposite. (Compared to, for instance, rail-thin Cruella De Vil in the 1960s.)

Again, I don't think Disney or Lego is making a statement about female body image through Lego characters...I just think it's really interesting that Ursula is so much slimmer -- and that she's even in a toy set at all. Just scrolling through the first few pages of the Disney Legos on Target's website, the closest thing to a villain in the other sets -- excluding the Star Wars ones because they make villains cool -- is Marshmallow from Frozen, and even then, he's not the uber-villain of the movie.

Disney FanArt Drop

Still one of my favorite things from the D23 Expo this year.

And I love that the artist captured/translated their facial expressions. 💖

📷: Nin (@rirrr1731) via Disney Memes

Disney Princesses As....Hogwarts Students

This week in "Disney Princesses As...": they're Hogwarts students! Or, at the very least, they've been sorted into Hogwarts Houses.

While this warms my nerdy heart, it isn't exactly something new....Disney Princess Reimaginer Extraordinaire Isaiah Stevens has done it, and so has a Deviant Artist named Annabella (hers might be my favorite).

My point is: it's been done before, so why do it again unless you disagree with the Sorting Results? And there are definitely some different results here.

Some of them make total sense (a.k.a. I totally agree with them). Like, for instance:

PC: Disney via HelloGiggles

This makes total sense: Snow White and Cinderella with their unrelenting optimism and kindness? Total Hufflepuff. And they are clearly unafraid of toil (as all good Hufflepuffs are) because they not only clean for the baddies in their lives, but they do it with a smile and a song.

Also making total sense?

PC: Disney via HelloGiggles

Yah. Mulan and Merida are both clearly Gryffindors. I mean...the name of Merida's movie is Brave, so I totally get that one.

Also one I like, but hadn't really thought of before:

PC: Disney via HelloGiggles

Ariel is totally the Luna Lovegood of Disney Princesses. And, she's my favorite princess, so it makes sense I'd love that she's sorted into my house.

Speaking of my favorites....

PC: Disney via HelloGiggles

I'm sorry. Elsa is NOT a Slytherin. No. Just no. She is 100% a Ravenclaw. I'm not sure how being "grounded in reality" disqualifies you from being a Ravenclaw -- not all Ravenclaws are like Luna. (Cho Chang was a Ravenclaw, after all. Not that that really helps my case.) The thing that bugs me here is that Elsa is NOT ambitious -- a very Slytherin quality, and not necessarily in a negative way. But "an ambitious leader" wouldn't retreat from a position to power to a place of solitude as Elsa does: a Slytherin would not go build and rule an ice power in isolation. A Slytherin would most definitely stay and rule, regardless of how people thought of him/her. 

Hans, for example, is absolutely a Slytherin -- but he's not a princess. Which I think is the flaw here: Disney princesses are all inherently good; not too many of them are going to belong in Slytherin, even if you read the Slytherin qualities positively. There's going to be a lot of Hufflepuff (First Wave) and a lot of Gryffindor. 

But, if you just look at the princesses, somebody's got to be in Slytherin. Which is why this happens:

PC: Disney via HelloGiggles

Again, I say: NO. JUST NO. I get the ambition part -- which is why I see Slytherin, but Tiana ultimately gives up her dream of a restaurant when Facilier offers it to her: she chooses love/Naveen over the restaurant, which again, I'm not sure a Slytherin would do. (Hence why she's a Disney princess.) But more than that -- Tiana's defined by her work ethic -- she is as unafraid of toil as Snow White and Cinderella are, probably even more so. (I've argued that Tiana is basically an updated version of Cinderella; very similar rags-to-riches story, just with more modern complexity.) The Sorting Hat tells us that "Those patient Hufflepuffs are true / And unafraid of toil." Yeah. Tiana saved for her restaurant penny by penny for years: that is textbook Hufflepuff, right there.

I know I take this all way too seriously, but Disney and Harry Potter are two of my favorite things so I love when they collide. 

Lin-Manuel Miranda + Disney's The Little Mermaid

Yes, you read that right. Current It-Boy Lin-Manuel Miranda is teaming up with Disney on a live-action adaptation of The Little Mermaid.

BRB. I need to go die of fangirl-excitement.

via EW

According to Deadline, Miranda will (1) co-produce the film (he's not writing the story but will "supervise" it) and (2) will write songs with Alan Menken.

The article mentions that it's an adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen's "The Little Mermaid" but...I'm pretty sure it's just going to be a remake of the 1989 Disney film (a.k.a. my first Disney love and obsession) as Andersen is a bit too dark for Disney. (Also, Chloe Grace Moretz is starring in that film -- and she's been adamant about it is darker and it's not the Disney version.)

All that being said...I have no idea what a "live-action" adaptation of a story about mermaids and evil sea witches and set largely underwater even looks like. I mean...I would imagine it's something akin to a "live-action adaptation" of The Jungle Book where by "live-action" they mean "largely CGI." Although, Annie Leibowitz made a bunch of Olympic swimmers look like convincing merpeople, so it could happen. (Still one of my favorites things EVER.)

I'll end with this final thought: I have complete trust in LMM. I know he's not writing the story (yet), but if anyone can pull off a live-action adaptation and make it new and fresh, it's him. After all, if you'd told me that Broadway's hottest ticket right now would be to a rap-musical based on the life of Founding Father Alexander Hamilton, I would have laughed and epically eye-rolled.

Disney Artwork -- Isaiah Stevens, Part II

The next installment of "Disney Princesses As..." is brought to you once more by Isaiah Stevens (who brought us "Disney Princesses as Mothers"). This time, Stevens has imagined the disney royals as characters from the film, The Notebook. (I went through a Nicholas Sparks phase in college; most of his books were set in North Carolina and I liked that familiarity. But then they got a little...predictable and I stopped reading.) While I prefer A Walk To Remember (I do adore Mandy Moore), I know The Notebook has a cult following.

You can heck out the full set of works on Cosmopolitan's site or follow him on Instagram, but here are a few of my favorites!

Ariel and Eric in the iconic scene -- this might be my favorite.

Kristoff, Hans, and Anna -- although Anna looks really...mean here.

Jasmine and Aladdin:

via Buzzfeed: 17 Times Disney Princesses Had No...Chill

**Disclaimer: NSFW Language**
If you're offended by that. As a child of two New York drivers, I tend not to be. (I also tend to find Bernie Sanders' accent very familiar and comforting, which I realize is probably not normal. It just sounds like family dinners and holidays to me.)

But I digress.

Anyway. Buzzfeed posted this a few days ago: "17 Times Disney Princesses Had No [Effing] Chill."

I love the subtitle: "Because crying on your bed always makes things better."

"17 Times" may be a bit of a stretch--since a large portion of the article focuses on the same scene, just different shots of it. 

But it basically is an account of every time the Disney Princesses cry.

Like Cinderella (1950):

Or Aurora (1959):

Or Ariel (1989):

Actually, Ariel cries *a lot* for a Disney princess. Most have that ONE SCENE; Ariel has like 3, maybe 4. Definitely one of the more emotional ones.

Or Belle (1991):

There's actually quite a lot of flinging oneself down on a surface -- a bed, a bench, a rock formation -- and sobbing.

The crying may decrease as we move forward in time...I can think of Rapunzel and Tiana and even Anna getting emotional, but I don't remember any super dramatic sob fests.

Charlotte might be the exception -- and this is like a textbook Ugly Cry:

And, as the Buzzfeed article does point out, these are all teenage girls. And puberty & hormonal changes are hard enough without having to deal with learning your entire identity is a lie or realizing that you just gave up your freedom and dreams to save your father's life.

So, yeah. They cry. 

You know who else cries a lot? Hermione Granger -- the anti-Disney Princess if ever there was one.

I remember reading an article once about Rowling's depiction of Hermione as constantly crying -- and it infuriated me:

"Yet throughout her role development thus far, Rowling allows Hermione to lose sight of her own strength and revert to stereotypic behavior and she facilitates this by employing gender-related stereotypic words to Hermione's behavior again and again. Repeatedly, Rowling has Hermione "shriek," "squeak," "wail," "squeal," and "whimper," verbs never applied to the male characters in the book. [...] Throughout the books, Hermione often bursts into tears.... [...] Her hysteria and crying happen far too often to be considered a believable part of the development of Hermione's character and are quite out of line with her core role in the book. They add nothing to an understanding of her persona or its individual caricature nor, for the most part, anything to the story. Thus, they can only be interpreted as "how [silly, weak] girls act," which is unfortunate from the viewpoint of feminist analysis." --Lana Whited 

As someone who is a self-professed Crier, I find this really insulting. I'll admit it -- I cry. A lot. I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm stressed. It's just how I, personally, deal with emotions -- in part, I think, because they usually run fairly close to the surface. I can compartmentalize and suppress with the best of them, but, as a general rule, I'm very easy to read emotionally.

Does this make me any less feminist? I hope not. Just as not crying doesn't make a person any or more less feminist. Showing a character has crying or displaying emotions -- and like Hermione, many Disney princesses don't just cry -- they show quite a range of emotions, particularly the later we go, chronologically -- shouldn't be a reason for criticism.

Life is, for lack of a better phrase, going to suck every once in a while -- and I think it's okay to show that you don't have to maintain a preternatural level of optimism and cheerfulness when you encounter it. It's okay to falter, to stumble, to be "down." (Look at women in the 1950s -- when they were expected to be cheerful all the time, it did not end well for them.)

Disney Artwork -- Phil Berry

In today's installment of "Disney Princesses as..." I bring you "Disney Princesses as Jedi" by Phil Berry. (Check out his work at his DeviantArt page.)

While I'm not the biggest Star Wars fan, I still think these are pretty cool if only because the princesses seem super kick-ass and not at all like damsels in distress. I also like the little subtle nods to the other characters in the film -- although Pascal, Rajah and Flounder are not nearly as cute and cuddly in Berry's versions.

Rapunzel might be my favorite -- after all, she's using her hair as a weapon, freeing up her hands, so the bad-ass potential is pretty high here.

Runner-Up probably goes to Ariel -- probably because she's my favorite princess in general. 

Berry rounds out his quartet with Jasmine and Belle:

For some reason, I'm not as big of a fan of the Belle one (to each his own!), mainly because if Beast wasn't there, I'd have a hard time knowing it was Belle. Her pose is also less active and striking, but maybe she's more of a strategist. 

Daily Dose of The Giggles

Thursday Afternoon LOLZ. 

Chloe Grace Moritz as The Little Mermaid

One of the big news stories this weekend -- judging from the amount of times it popped up in my social media feeds -- that wasn't about a major coffee chain and their alleged war on Christmas, was the news that Chloe Grace Moretz was cast as The Little Mermaid.

Notice I didn't say "Ariel."

Because she is most emphatically not Ariel--whatever the media would like you to believe in order to get you to click their links.

Exhibit A:

 Exhibit B:

(Although, I honestly don't know what's going on with Ariel in this photo. Seriously.)

Even CNN seems to have missed the point of the story it's reporting, given this headline:

The  initial article I read made it very clear that this is an adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen's original story by Working Title and Universal -- the latter of which is one of Disney's biggest rivals. Richard Curtis is allegedly working on the screenplay -- which, if he hadn't given me one of my favorite episodes of Doctor Who, I'd be a bit worried since he's more famous for his rom-com work; Notting Hill, Love Actually, Bridget Jones's Diary to name a few.

But the point remains, The Little Mermaid is somehow one of the only films that hasn't been rumored to have a live-action adaptation in the works. So it makes sense that Universal would be focusing on their adaptation -- fingers crossed it will be much more faithful to Andersen's original tale. Which would mean it would be a much darker, feminist story, but we'll see.

Disney Princesses w/Hair Matching Their Outfits (via Buzzfeed)

Leave it to Buzzed to have a completely random post about Disney princesses. Ah, the Internet.

This one is brought to you by the concept of "matching outfits with hair" -- which sounds really weird but, as the Buzzfeed headline points out, is oddly magical. (Mostly.) 

Check out some of the images below, and head on over to Buzzfeed for the full list. 

(I think the purple hair actually makes her look really old.)

(Aside from the fact that Elsa is my current favorite, this might be my favorite hair swap. It just works.)

(Belle just looks blonde here...which works with THIS dress, but maybe not any of the others...)

(Okay, is it just me, or does the raven-haired Aurora just look evil?!)

(Odd dress choice for Tiana...I would have done the green dress and matched her hair that way, but either way, she rocks it.)

New TeeTurtle Design

I am a sucker for nerdy t-shirts -- sites like Teefury and TeeTurtle are awful for my budget. They're just so versatile. I mean--I wear them to Disney and get lots of nerd-love (from both cast-members and other visitors--it's like you've found a kindred spirit when you see someone wearing a Karen Hallion Disney/Doctor Who crossover shirt); paired with a blazer or a cardigan, they're great for work during the academic year; and I wear them a lot over the summer when I teach at the writing camp.

Today's new release was "Rebel Princess" -- and let's be real. It's probably going to arrive on my doorstep shortly.

And I'm not even a big Star Wars fan. But do know a lot of people who will appreciate the fact that Leia is included. (I need to rewatch them before I pass judgment on her damsel-in-distress, sexualized object status. While Leia is known for her white robes and side buns, I'd say that her metal bikini is equally iconic. But again, I don't know nearly enough about them to confidently say anything.)